You Were My Toxic Guilty Pleasure

I know you aren’t good for me

but the worst things in life never are

You have the ability to cut me open like it was nothing

and the thing is

I liked it

You made me feel things in a body that hadn’t felt anything in years

You reminded me that I was alive

That I’m not just a ghost floating through existence without purpose

Talking to you still gives me panic attacks

All the words I want to say are choking me

they wrap around my throat like your fingers

And I swear my heart’s trying to escape from my body

because it knows it belongs to you

We’re a fine pair

I’ll never understand why you care about me

You’re not supposed to see anything but the monsters inside of me

Why aren’t you scared

I am

I’m scared of drowning in all of my tears

They’re an ocean of feelings

Things I’ll never be able to say to you

because I’m sabotaging myself every time I think about you

But I need you because you give air to my oxygen starved lungs

You are my toxic guilty pleasure that’s secretly killing me

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s